I Have A Dream But Not A Plan.

Today I had to have one of those “ok, now what are you going to do with your life” conversations with Indu Aunty. Most of the time it’s not as bad as it sounds as my favorite aunt as this uncanny habit of seeing thing in a more this-is-the-way-it-should-be kind of way that enlightens my I-don’t-give-a-flying-rats-ass attitude.

She started off by saying that I should grow up. I have been thinking about this for sometime now. Especially after getting close to people like berriya I felt that I really don’t take life seriously as some people think I should. I mean I don’t have two/three/five year plans, for fucks’ sake, I don’t even plan on shitting before going to work tomorrow. Honestly I don’t have any regrets either. Professionally, I’m in middle management, financially, I earn a six figure monthly salary, I got married because I fell in love, I separated coz both of us grew out of each other. No, I don’t regret even the marriage part. Even after we realized we wanted go our separate ways we never did anything to hurt each other’s feelings and wish for this understanding we still have, to last. I guess what my aunt meant was that my life was way different to what everybody expected from a twenty eight year old guy from a middle class background. People expect you finish college, graduate, get a decent job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. I’m not sorry that my life is different. I know a lot of guys and chicks that are very frustrated with life coz day in day out it’s the same bloody routine. Worst part is when your social obligations prevent you from trying to be whom you strived out to be when you started off.

On a different note I come from a clan of teachers. Ma’s one, grandma was one and countless aunts are too, including my favorite. It’s the opinion of most that the best thing that can happen to a marriage is one party being unemployed or at best a teacher. Oh, I almost forgot, the one party being the female party. Though most of us might deny this, most Sri Lankans are open to this idea. I was having a chat with a friend of mine who had a hand in changing his to-be fiancés career from corporate to a nursery teacher!! In Sri Lanka fear-psychosis plays a part in most “successful marriages”. “I’m sticking on coz I have no choice” or “Don’t leave me coz you have nowhere to go” are some of the catch phases you will hear if you listen carefully. I of course am a hard ass. I like my women independent, financially stable and intellectually challenging. By no means am I saying that I’m attracted to a woman who’s a mix between Maggie Tacher and a member of the German National Curling team. All I’m saying is that both parties should be independent enough, maybe not emotionally, so they wouldn’t get on each other’s hair. I like somebody who actually understands the meaning of “you say it best when you say nothing at all”. Somebody who I could go out for coffee with and read a book, not speak a single word and yet go back home feeling as if that’s the most productive “us” time we spent together.

There is no formula that you can live your life by. Don’t make plans if you don’t plan on working them. If you haven’t planned and you’re a bum right now, you’re a bum coz you didn’t have a plan. So go ahead make a plan for yourself. If not having a plan has worked for you so far, don’t worry about not having a plan either, no matter what anybody says.

If this post sounds like a fucking christmas tree, it was meant to sound that way ;-)